02 May 2012

FUCK YOU, STOP CALLING ME - May 2012

I just got this brilliant idea.  There seems to be a lot of outsourcing of customer service and tech support personnel.  You have a problem and you need a fix and hopefully the person you are connected to knows how to fix your problem.  Well, one of the problems is, the person on the other end is in some foreign country and your native language is not their first language.  There is a definite language barrier, and unfortunately, the calls are very frustrating on both ends, and sometimes nothing gets accomplished during the call.  You want to speak with someone that can communicate in your native tongue.

Meanwhile, there are thousands of jobs in telemarketing that are in this country.  They all speak the native language...after the automated system routes you to said assholes.  No language barrier.

So, here is the idea.  Telemarketers should become customer service and tech service people.  That way, they have a meaningful job.  True, they will have to learn a few skills (depending on the service), but at least the jobs stay within the country of origin.  I am not forgetting the folks overseas.  They become the telemarketers.

This plan works abroad, example:  Operators from Country A will provide tech support and customer service to people in Country A.  Meanwhile, different agents from the same Country A, the fucking losers, call other countries with telemarketing needs. 

Anyways, on with this month's calls

2 May 2012
   971-220-1003  Gresham, OR  Again, this is from the same call center as previous Gresham numbers.  It has the same area code and prefix, 971-220...just different extension.  So far, I have received calls from 971-220-1019, 971-220-1017, and 971-220-1183.  Now, 971-220-1003.  If you count all those numbers, this is the eleventh call from Gresham

   971-220-1003  Gresham, OR  And so it begins. 

3 May 2012
   971-220-1003  Gresham, OR  Barely 8:30AM and I am alreasy getting calls.  I was lucky enough to have a mini break from these fucking assholes last month.  Seems they are starting early and often.  I do not get tired of NOT answering and typing "fuck off".  So, fuck off!

   971-220-1003  Gresham, OR  Wow, it only took 33 minutes for the second call of the day.  That is four calls in less that 24 hours.  Fourteen calls total, if we count the other calls from Gresham.  And, a fuck off to you, too.

The first of many to some.
4 May 2012
   971-220-1003  Gresham, OR  Another early call.  Seems like my call time is the latter half of the eight o'clock hour.  With five calls in three days, I feel that I should post this now.  By the way, the record is six calls in one day.  See if you pussies can beat that.

   202-783-6639  DC, USA  Wait "DC", as in Washington DC?  Holy fuck, is the President calling me concerning the telemarketer situation?  Maybe it is the Do Not Call Registry calling to confirm that they targeted the terrorists and have put a stop to telemarketing.  No, of course not.  A simple Google check, and it shows that it is for some fucking 'cardholder service'.  Yeah, go fuck yourself!

5 May 2012
   253-382-9928  Tacoma, WA  First Washington DC, now Washington the state.  I think this is the first call from Tacoma...which is pretty close to our buddies in Kent, WA.  Oh, did I mention this was a Saturday morning call?

7 May 2012
   971-220-1003  Gresham, OR  Sixth call, so far.  We are seven days into the month and I got six calls.  I wonder if they can average a call a day and to thirty.  With Memorial Day and weekends, they will have to get on it and make several calls a day.   If they are willing to commit to this, I am willing to ignore all their calls.

8 May 2012
    701-920-9805  Center, ND  Good old North Dakota.  Been a while since I have hear from them.  If they chose to repeat the pattern, I should be getting a shitload of calls in the next few days. Those fuckers in Gresham may have some competition for this month.

10 May 2012
   702-525-0180  Las Vegas, NV  A fucking text message that cost me another twenty cents.  Fuck you.

14 May 2012
   425-390-8149  Renton, WA  The fucking Northwest.  Again, not the first call from Renton.  Their tactic is the old switcheroo.  If you follow my rants about these fucking cunt holes, you will know that this shit happens all the time.

15 May 2012
   253-246-8514  Kent, WA  Once Renton calls, you know that Kent is not far behind.  Again, same area code and prefix, different extension.  It is like I won the lottery and relatives I have never heard from are calling me, begging for some money.  I should be expecting a call from Astoria, soon.  Oh, and let the record show that I kinda predicted this call ten days ago.  Look at the first entry on this post.  Fuck heads!

   646-460-1282   New York, NY  Another text message.  Apparently, I won some bullshit contest that I have never heard of and sure as hell not enter in.  Fuck you, you owe me twenty cents.

According to my calculations, this is the thirty-fifth text I have received a text from a telemarketer.  So, at twenty cents a pop...these mother fuckers owe me seven dollars.  I know that is not a lot, but that money could be used to feed the starving children.  See, every time a telemarketer texts you, a child gets raped and dies.  Yes, at the end of the day, telemarketers are raping and killing innocent children.

16 May 2012
   406-219-2064  Bozeman, MT  Bozeman?  What the fuck kind of name is Bozeman?  It sounds like a shitty fake name that a stoned teenager gives to a cop.  Actually, this is the second time (since January 2011) I have received a call from fucking Bozeman.  Had to look up the records.  Again, different extension.  I need to come up with a term for "same area code and prefix, different extension".  How about SACAPDE?
 
17 May 2012
   971-220-1003  Gresham, OR  Oh, well welcome back.  Only fucked off for ten days?  Go ahead and fuck off some more.  Seventh call. 

   971-220-1003  Gresham, OR  Eighth call, second call in less than an hour.  Should I expect a few calls tomorrow to make up for those ten days?  You are about eleven calls behind, if you want to hit that 30 call  mark by the end of the month.  Oh, and fuck off!

Technically, I have a stalker.
 18 May 2012
   971-220-1003  Gresham, OR  This would be number nine.  Wait for it.....

   971-220-1003  Gresham, OR ...and there it is, ten calls.  Now, rest up during the weekend.  You got a big week ahead of you.  I expect you to break twenty by this time next week.  Meanwhile, go fuck yourself. 

21 May 2012
   562-884-8324  Long Beach, CA  Another fucking text.  This one apparently my purchase from Wal-Mart last month won me $1000.  Yeah, fuck you!  I have said it before, I will say it again...save your fucking blood money and stop fucking drunk texting me.  Next time I go to Wal-Mart, I am going to steal and/or damage twenty cents of their merchandise.  Fuck you!

23 May 2012
   720-409-2532  CO, USA  Hey, new number from Colorado.  Fuck you and your rectangular state.

25 May 2012
    971-220-1003  Gresham, OR  Where are we at with these assholes?  Oh yeah, eleven.  Something tells me they are not done.

   971-220-1003  Gresham, OR  Twelve?  Is that all you got?  Barely averaging one call every two days.  Oh, I almost forgot...fuck you!

29 May 2012
   503-457-1166  Tillamook, OR  So excited that I get to use my new term SACAPDE.  Yup, I have received calls crom Tillamook on four occasions, each with a differnt extension.  What the fuck is with Oregon?  Speaking of Oregon...Hey Gresham, you less than three days to call me...fuck you!

   805-490-1966  City of Commerce, CA  Guess what...yup, another fucking text message.  This one is for some work at home thing where I can make $57 an hour working from home.  It would be fucking awesome if this job was a telemarketing job.  You owe me twenty cents, fuck off!

31 May 2012
   206-279-8764  Seattle, WA  Holy shit, a new number.  Last call of the month and the shitbags from Gresham did not step up, typical.  Notice that these calls are coming from the Northwest.  What the fuck is up with the hipsters up there?  Until next month...well, tomorrow...fuck off!
 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Searching the web to find out who the hell just called me at 10:33pm and I read the above - I do believe this is the funniest shit I have found online in weeks!!! I almost forgot what had prompted my search in the first place... Oh yeah those piece of shit Tele- too lazy to get a real fucking job - marketers!!