Something a little different. Forget death and taxes as the two certain things. In this day and age, spam and telemarketing calls are all the rage.
We just spent a few a few hours going through our Junk Mail folder and unsubscribed to many of those random advertisements. As they are coming in, we would unsubscribe, going through hundreds of spam emails. Slow day at work. Of course this is just an experiment, just like that Do Not Call List, that does not really work. After a few...well two...we noticed that most of the spam comes from a few sources.
By clicking 'unsubscribe' in the email, most of them take you to this link. Very generic, very easy.
Of course, by entering an email, we probably subscribed to a bunch of other junk mailing list. Anyway, the next screen is what we found interesting.
Translation to what they are really saying. "Your email address was sold and we acquired it. While you may have unsubscribed to this advertisement, you have been put on many others. If there is an issue, here is ridiculously long email address that you can write to. Good luck with that."
Very doubtful that this will work.
While this is the generic version. Some more specific version will have their company name on the top of the page. Same format, enter address. But the proceeding screen will have a disclaimer saying that it may take 48-72 hours to finish the process. Some even say "allow up to 10 days to remove".
What? That is fucking bullshit. Some of the confirmation pages give you bullshit like "allow 3 business days". Uh, we are receiving this shit on the weekend. For spamming and telemarketing, everyday is a business day. We live in a world that is instant. How many times have you ordered something from a new site and immediately get put on a mailing list? You get three emails once your transaction is complete. Welcome to, Order Number, Save 15%. That 'Save 15%' is your confirmation that you are on their mailing list. Instant!