Here we go, heading into the last month of the year. Surprised it took three days into the month to get our first call. But, at least they made up for it by give us a few calls.
3 December 2021
888-889-1193 - Of course, we have no idea what this is. Interesting results from a quick search, as some of them where blocked for being suspicious. Nice work with getting an 888 number to make it look legit, at first glance. Fuck you!
804-737-2352 Sandston, VA - Who the fuck in Sandston, VA is calling? According to Wikipedia, Sandston is a 'census-designed space'. Uh, okay. Without diving any deeper, we are just going to assume that is some sort of government experiment...like the nuclear bomb testing sights. Speaking of that, how about nuking telemarketers. Fuck you!
4 December 2021
903-871-4119 Whitehouse, TX - We highly doubt a 77 year old man from Whitehouse, TX...formerly from Fontana, CA...would be calling us on a Saturday. This is a spoofed number. Fuck you!
5 December 2021
657-384-6554 Santa Ana, CA - And, we are back to this clever little scam:
Be careful out there. Good timing, good layout of text. This was very convincing...except for the link. We are not going to fall for the banana in the tailpipe trick. Fuck you!
6 December 2021
973-748-7877 Bloomfield, NJ - Ugh, these random numbers are being spoofed by telemarketers. There are possibly more innocent victims to scams, from the owner of the spoofed number to the persons they are calling. That is a double fuck you...fuck you!
7 December 2021
916-222-1985 Sloughhouse, CA - Sloughhouse is just a weird name. You have back to to back "ou" sounds...wait, there is another one...and a double H. We also have a pretty easy to remember.
First we have the area code, '916'...which looks the same upside down. One could say the same about the prefix, '222'. Triplet of 2's is easy to remember. Then, you have a simple '1985'. No need to swipe left or right, here is my number, too bad this is a telemarketer. Fuck you!
8 December 2021
916-725-5044 Citrus Heights, CA - Ugh, there is an obvious citrus joke here, like "why is Citrus Heights not located in Orange County?" While it is in Sacramento County, the city of Citrus Heights is the next town over from...wait for it...Orangevale. So, we are not even that mad about this call. Oh, they left a message:
Typical robo voicemail from a robocall. Love that the phone had a little trouble transcribing the voicemail. Obviously, nothing big. I wonder if they were trying to sell us oranges. Fuck you!
9 December 2021
623-842-8082 Phoenix, AZ - Okay, we did a quick search and this is obviously a spoofed number. The interesting part is, this number has a listed origin of Surprise, AZ. How cool would it be to live in a city named Surprise?
541-205-3586 Klamath Falls, OR - Here is your Jeopardy! clue in the category Science Fiction: This is what happens when your calculations are in Klingon, and the results plummet.
Answer: What is Kla'math Falls?
10 December 2021
971-292-8445 Portland, OR - Normally, we do a quick search for the number to check if there are any record of it being a known telemarketer. But, we were more interested in verifying the body of this text:
According to a leading online news source, this information incorrect. We did not look very far, but it seems like this is important, so it should pop up somewhere on the front page. Nope. So, why do we care? Why are you bothering us with this? Obviously, this is some sort of trigger, in hope of getting us engaged in some argument. Perhaps, give up some information.
Either way, we really do not give a shit. Again, this shit like this, the link is almost always questionable. Come on, 'breath retail'. Fuck you!
Update: We just saw the President on the Tonight Show. You would think he would mention this on the show.
11 December 2021
269-668-5372 Mattawa, MI - Spoofed number comin' at'cha early on a Saturday morning. Fuck you!
480-740-9069 Phoenix, AZ - Here we are again, second one this month:
747-253-1348 Los Angeles, CA - Oh, another one
Just how many free gifts are there? These are different links. You guys need to coordinate before sending these out. Fuck you!
12 December 2021
415-815-9945 San Francisco, CA - This is the fourth message from four different numbers/locations:
Totally possible to get ten of these by the end of the month. Fuck you!
13 December 2021
602-840-5563 Phoenix, AZ - Spoofed number from Valley, AZ. Arizona has some pretty cool names for cities. First "Surprise", now "Valley". How about this for a city name...Fuck you!
215-362-6593 Lansdale, PA - You need to get pretty Early to get us with another spoofed number. Fuck you!
310-599-3964 Compton, CA - That is three calls from three different numbers, today. Really trying to mix things up, hoping to catch people during the holiday season. Fuck you!
14 December 2021
913-492-9272 Kansas City, KS - We have been getting many of these calls from spoofed numbers. Fuck you!
15 December 2021
913-337-8468 Kansas City, KS - Another call from Kansas City. Just like there are (at least) two Kansas City's...or is it Cities?...we have our second call from Kansas City. How many time can we mention Kansas City until we say, fuck you!
18 December 2021
808-626-2084 Honolulu, HI - All the way from Hawai'i, on a Saturday morning. Fuck you!
19 December 2021
442-341-9181 Southeastern California - We have our fifth message from a fifth location for the month.
Wow, on a Sunday morning, too. Fuck you!
21 December 2021
310-599-3880 Compton, CA - We recognize this area code and prefix. Fuck you!
480-559-2590 Phoenix, AZ - Well, we already have one from Phoenix.
That makes six for the month. Fuck you!
22 December 2021
402-383-6943 Nebraska City, NE - Nebraska City, Nebraska. So nice, they named it twice. Not really.
Well, this one is interesting. Follow along. We have a call coming in from Nebraska, nothing strange there. As we get calls from all over the country. A message was left. Again, nothing strange there. But, the number registered to the message is from a different location:
The origin of this message is from New York. Ah, but the plot thickens. They ask us to call them back at a third number. The 833-208-2739 number is based in Virginia. Oh yeah, we looked that shit up.
This is apparently for some student loans...or is it? We already went through our stellar education status. So, we looked up Barents program. Well, according to our extensive research, this has nothing to do with student loans. The Barents Region is located in Northern Europe and Northwest Asia. We have not idea what the hell they do. Frankly, it was too much to read, and way above our educational experience. But pretty damn sure it has no damn thing to do with student loans.
Anyway, this just smells fishy. Fuck you!
23 December 2021
firstname.lastname@example.org - If it was not frowned upon, we would love to reply to these texts/emails with dick pics. If you thing about it, which is worse...falling for a scam and loose money, or looking at a random penis?
This is a pretty good deal. Chillin at home and only working twice a week. Look at all the free time we can have. Maybe we can work two two-day-a-week gigs. The $1200 a month is not bad for only working twice a week. Might consider this.
Better yet, how about we send you two dick pics a week...for free. Fuck you!
917-951-3085 New York, NY - Coming in at number 7...
213-509-0425 Los Angeles, CA - Hard push to meet that end of month deadline. Second one of the day.
We have our eight version of this shit. Fuck you!
27 December 2021
859-426-7865 Covington, KY - No Love here, just another spoofed number. Fuck you!
28 December 2021
318-385-9455 Arcadia, LA - Come on, guys. Enough with these spoofed numbers, I need to be given more gifts for paying my bills. Fuck you!
310-876-9859 Culver City, CA - Ha ha! One of the search results will take you to "FishyCaller". By they way, this call came in about a minute after the previous one. Fuck you!
661-654-8941 Bakersfield, CA - Again, there is no real reason a realtor should be calling us, so we are just going to classify this as another spoofed number. Been a while since we got three random calls in one day. Fuck you!
30 December 2021
347-237-2662 Manhattan, NY - Where have you fuckers been? Wait, did you guys jump the gun?
We are still in December, and there is no way we have already paid our bill. Hey, is this one of those scams...nah! Okay, we will still count this as number nine for the month. Tomorrow is the last day of the month, we want to get ten of these. Will it be a "November bill" or "December bill" for our free gift? Fuck you!
31 December 2021
346-667-1085 Houston, TX - This came in at 6:15 in the morning, on the last day of the year. Could this be a pack day as robots try to meet their quota for the year?
Sounds like a miracle pill. Recommended by celebrities? Which ones? Depending on which celebrity, we may give this a try. Surely there is no harm in a product that can 'burn fat like crazy' with just 'one cup before bedtime." Wait, are you saying we are fat? Fuck you!