14 October 2010

Broken, Fractured...and Dislocated Part I

Finally, something to write about, besides Depeche Mode and Back to the Future.  So, you all know that I not only watch hockey...I also play hockey.  Not just on the PS3, real hockey, albeit inline hockey.  Ice is expensive, still, hockey is hockey.  This season, I decided to play on two teams.  Double the hockey.  Face it, I need the exercise.

Anyway, four games into the Tuesday night games, on 5 October, I did what the title says...to my wrist.  Yep, I broke, shattered, and dislocated my wrist.  Sort of an 'injury hat trick', if you will.

How it happened:

Late in the third period, I got the puck and raced down the right wing.  A defenseman was on me, so I tried to cut around him and around the goalie.  I was going pretty fast, I would say 25-30 mph.  There was no much time and space to make my move.  Not sure if I was pushed, or if I was leaning too hard on the defenseman, but I was heading too fast into the goalie.  To avoid hitting the goalie, I kinda jumped towards my right and ran into the net.  You could say I Hit the Post.  They always say, "crash the net"...and that, I did.

My left hand was sandwiched between the post and my manly chest.  They tell me that I knocked the net 10-15 feet out.  Oh, I was wearing gloves and full gear, but my awesome speed and power was my downfall as it did major damage to my wrist.  I knew right then, I was fucked.  Funny, I did not hear the bone break or any crunching.  I immediately skated off, did not bother to pick up my glove...but, I still had my stick in my hand.

Now, keep in mind that this game started at 11PM.  The accident happened just around midnight.  Anyway, when I got to the bench, I had a better look at the situation.  Arm going one way, hand decided to make a left turn.  It looked bad, the nice girls that were keeping score were totally grossed out by it.  It looked like a Picaso drawing.  Luckily, I had a lot of adrenaline still pumping and did not feel much pain...just the inability to move much.

Oh, we won the game.  I did not participate in the end-of-game-handshake.  I wonder if the guys on the other team though I was a dick, too cool to shake hands with the losing team.  Meh, whatever.  After the game, about five of my teammates helped me undress.  I know that there are much better ways to word that last statement, but I like to piss off the homophobes.  So yeah, five guys helped me undress...it was hot and we were all sweaty. 

One of the guys offered to take me to the hospital. But I figured my wife should do it.  You know, that "sickness and health" thing.  See, I like to piss off feminists, too.  I am an equal opportunity pisser offer.  So, I called the wife, she freaked out, but eventually came to the rink and took me to the hospital.  The guys help with my bag and sticks, and we were off.


Go to Part II - Part III - Part IV - Part V - Part VI - Part VII - Part VIII

1 comment:

PerryPie said...

I don't know why I just read this. It's not that I hadn't read it before. *Shudder*