09 April 2007

Could I interest you in...

This happens all the time, I am walking down the street, in a mall, or whatever, and some guy and or girl walks up to me and either tries to sell me something. Some just want money or my opinion. Bottom line, they are a waste of my time and I am just not a guy who willingly talks to strangers.

What are you to do? The easiest thing to do is just ignore the person and walk away. Some of you might even politely decline any offer the person might put on the table. These ideas are great and effective, but they are no fun.

Now, I have come up with fun ways to get out of this situation. The first one works for me because I just look stupid. Here is what you do. Just look stupid. No one is going to ask an idiot about politics. Get that blank stare on your face and say nothing when they are talking to you. It is basically an advanced staring contest. The pusher will soon walk away.

Slight variation on this (which also works for me), if you are "foreign looking", act like you do not speak the language he is using. Even better, use your foreign language or very heavy accent to reply to the person. Throwing in a little clueless stare would not hurt either.

Are props your thing? Have that handy mobile phone ready and have a conversation with your imaginary client. Because nothing is more important than a shipment of samoflanges, especially who you think about the environment.

Walking with a friend? Have a fake, but in depth conversation with your buddy. Any topic will do as long as you guys are really into it...and it does not even need to make any sense. Start in the "middle" of the conversation to mask the fact that it is fake (just like your phone call to your client). With a person of the opposite sex? Stage an argument, the more ridiculous the better, and really get into it, get physical if you have to. Extra points for crying, girl or guy.

Also, if you really want to have fun, turn the situation around. Sell him something and waste his time.

Bonus: Most if not all of these ideas work with telemarketers.

Give it a try next time someone tires to talk to you an you really just want to be left alone.


Anonymous said...

any good tips for phone solicitors? i currently just start talking to someone else because they're reading the manuscript.. until they start saying.. "hello?.. hello?" and then they hang up on me.

awildermode said...

telemarketers are great. since they cannot see you, you can be anyone you want to be. i was once James Bond. the fun part is you can keep them online as long as they have the patience. i used to get calls from the local newspaper. i just told them i do not read...at all. i get all my info from tv or internet. just be firm and argue your point, especially if you sound like an idiot. they think twice the next time they call your number.